Breaking News!**April 1st post**

#1
KINGS BRING IN VETERAN PLAYERS

SacramentoCalifornia: In a surprise move, the Kings, in an attempt to boost their playoff hopes, have signed two retired all star players for the remainder of the season.


Earlier this morning, in a conference call Kings’ Vice President of basketball operations, Geoff Petrie announced that the Kings have signed John Stockton and Karl Malone for the veteran minimums respectively.



“We just want to mimic the success they have had in the past,” said an excited Kings’ owner, Joe Maloof. Surely, there will be some pick and rolls around coming to Arco now.



There are further motivations in these signings. “We feel that Ostertag had his best years with these two and we wanted to help him as we go into the playoffs,” said Geoff Petrie. Clearly, Ostertag will be receiving more touches now with this new look Kings.



Mike Bibby, earlier this morning said, “I’m just excited that I can rest for a few minutes a game, while John goes to work.” Surely, Stockton will provide a veteran presence off the bench, something the Kings have been missing since the injury to Jackson earlier this year.



Malone, reached by phone at his ranch, stated, “I just want to win a championship and I will sell myself out anyway I can…also John and I play good together.” Rick Adelman will surely play these two archaic players together in an attempt to scorch teams with the constant pick and rolls of the past.



An official news conference has been scheduled for 5:30 PM eastern. The player will be formally introduced on Saturday.
 
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#3
W-w-w-w-w-ait ... is this for real ????

Do not BS me one freakin' bit ... is this for real ????

The typos lessen the creditability ....

why would the Maloof's do this ...

thanx DieHard ....
 
#10
This lame attempt is right up there with the Islamic cleric that just predicted the demise of the United States by 2007. I assume that was an April Fool's joke also.
 

piksi

Hall of Famer
#12
Jose said:
I'm surprised we didn't get a "Bibby out for the season!!" post...
I had something like that prepared but that would have been too cruel. Also it would make me even more unpopular here;).

I still would have done it but - there is always a possibility of a jinx and I did not want to risk that.
 
#23
sloter said:
Well, I just hate stupid April 1st jokes... and there's lots of them.
Ya, exactly. I liked the other one about James wanting to play for the Kings. That one was totally believable.
 
#27
In a twisted turn of events, several Sacramento Kings fans invaded Karl Malone's home in Salt Lake City, Utah and brutally beat the 42 year old NBA star.

One fan, wearing a crazy penguin suit, was overheard screaming that Karl Malone will never play for the Kings.
 

6th

Homer Fan Since 1985
#30
C Diddy said:
In a twisted turn of events, several Sacramento Kings fans invaded Karl Malone's home in Salt Lake City, Utah and brutally beat the 42 year old NBA star.

One fan, wearing a crazy penguin suit, was overheard screaming that Karl Malone will never play for the Kings.
ROFLOL!!! Thanks for starting my day with a big laugh, C Diddy.