VF21's Way-Back Machine: Part 2

VF21

Super Moderator Emeritus
SME
#1
Here's another gem I happened to have stored on my hard drive. It was posted by NME on the occasion of his 10,000th post...

'Twas The Night Before Summer (10,000)

'Twas the night before summer, when all through the Forum
Existed an air of peace and decorum
There had been of late just a few threads per day
Because training camp was still so far away
The trolls, they were nestled all snug under bridges
Eyes growing heavy, like their orbital ridges
Now Vladefan’s cycle and Bricklayer’s bat
Were stored in the garage and laid in the rack
When out on the board there was something afoot
The offseason silence abruptly kaput
What sort of event could be so demanding?
I was feeling a draft, and things were expanding
A new team appeared and issued demands
To take one of our own with their thieving hands
But what with my wondering eyes should I see
But eight players made safe from this piracy
No, it wasn’t Schindler in charge of this list
But a man named Geoff provided the assist
He weighed all the options before making his choice
But soon came the time when the names must be voiced
“Keep Peja, Chris, Doug and Bobby,” rang out his call
“Darius, Brad, Mike, and AP.” Sorry G-Wall
One may be lost, but on another day
One or two more will be joining the fray
Because before long, another draft blows about
But this brings help in rather than drawing it out
He makes a new list, this one fit for shopping
The work starts anew, no time left for stopping
Through all of the workouts and all of the scouting
He searched for a player to get the fans shouting
(And not like that time when he stepped to the podium
And the crowd made a sound like they needed Imodium)
He speaks with a voice that’s so flat and monotone
It’s mistaken at first for a mechanical drone
The player he names, may not be on your Mock
Armchair GM’s, you may cry out in shock
But please give the man benefit of the doubt.
I think by this point, he’s earned a little clout
And then comes the time for signing and trading
That’s when we see the real prestidigitating
He preys on GM’s, their flaws and psychosis
With deft sleight of hand and sneaky hypnosis
He spots and grabs players who have been overlooked
Ensuring our next trip to the playoffs is booked
Could it be a guard with great hops and explosion
Who plays strong D and can throw it in the ocean?
Or maybe a big man who can jump like a dream
And swat shots out to where they sell Krispy Kreme
We’ll watch a great product from home or the stands
Because the Kings franchise is in able hands
The team will be back and continue to strive
And make another run in 2005
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight
Well nothing…but you know, Petrie keeps his lips tight
Forgive me if my parody flip-flops the seasons
I had to think of something for 10,000 reasons.
 

6th

Homer Fan Since 1985
#3
Thanks for bringing that back, VF. It will one day be known as a classic.

NME, I have always thought that your 10,000th post was one of the finest, enjoyable writings I have ever had the pleasure to read. You are one of a kind, my friend.

BTW - has that ever been sent to the Kings organization? I'll bet Geoff would love it...not to mention the Maloofs.
 
#5
NME, that IS already a true classic.

The player he names, may not be on your Mock (HA! This year, he (Kevin) was my selection in our Mock)
Armchair GM’s, you may cry out in shock
But please give the man benefit of the doubt. (I learned my lesson with Peja, the hard way!)