Kings Week in Review: Week 4

Discussion in 'Kings Rap' started by Tetsujin, Nov 23, 2016.


What will the Kings record be after the next week of basketball? (v. OKC, v. HOU, @BRK)

Poll closed Nov 25, 2016.
  1. 8-9

    5 vote(s)
  2. 7-10

    10 vote(s)
  3. 6-11

    1 vote(s)
  4. 5-12

    0 vote(s)
  5. We're all gonna die anyway.

    4 vote(s)
  1. Tetsujin

    Tetsujin The Game Thread Dude proudly presents

    Kings Week in Review: Week 4

    By Stephen Tetsu, almost as bad at football as the 49ers


    Hey guys. Unfortunately, I had no time to write a big old write-up today. Fortunately, my Uncle Donnie Rae’s been force feeding me Kings opinions over the last couple of weeks since the start of the season so I thought this week would be a good time for me to step back and let him take the reigns for a bit. Please don’t be too mean to him…


    Lets faec it. The Kings blow ass. Not that there was ever any doubt.

    The Kings are a suckass team built around a suckass player coached by a suckass coach with a beerbelly with a suckass chainsmoker up top and a no good suckass vegan love and piece hippy owner. This team was never going to win more then thirty games this season so why did any of us thing any differently?

    Sure they can beat the raptors but when have they not?? Toronto just isn't a NBA city and never will be. Those maple suckers love there hockey but they will never get anywhere in basketball until they replace Dewayne Casey with a real coach. George Karl is probnaly a food fit for that team. Never liked hockey though. Its a dumb sport. If I wanted to see a couple of nancyboys on skates I’d just watch the Olympics. Call me when they become a real sports city like Atlanta or Miami.

    But back to the Kings. Demarcus BOOGER Cousins is a cancer. Maybe this year all this new arena talk has got people all firedup and made them all forgotten but the man is a mental midget and the sooner we get rid of him the better. I know there are teams out there still interested in him but I don’t know why so we NEED TO TRADE THE FOOL before he does something to DESTROY this team for decades to come. The Celtics are a smart team so I think all the rumors about Danny Stevens wanting Cousins are lies. I heard that the Thunder might be interested but they just god rid of Durant a cancer so I doubt they would almost immediately WANT ANOTHER CANCER on the ROSTER. I wish they did though because thatSabonnis kids gonna be a obsolete stud in a few years WAY better then demarcus EVER could.That brings me to the dallas Mavericks.
    Marc Cuban is the short of guy who I could see wanting Demarcus COusins remember this is the moron who didn't resign Rondo last year before we made our selves bigger morons by doing the same thing this season. There a team that are under achieving even though they have way more talent than most of the west. The kraut was hurt so they lost a lot but whence he comes back I’m sure they'll go back to winning like they always have. Which means we have to get a move on a trade before then. Boguts always been a very really good player and I always thought he is one of the best passing centers in the the NBA. Getting rid of Curry and ANGRY Acy this summer was another line in the gravestone of Vlade Divac’s manager funeral so If we could I would want them back to. If the salarys don’t workout I wouldn’t mind if we threw in Kofas or Macklemore either. I think once he’s back in Sacramento where he belongs Seth becomes the future allstar we all saw at the end of the year last season. Carlilie is a retard coach with point guards so I think that settles it.

    Its pretty obvious what this Sacramento Kingsneed to do to have any hope of going somewhere in the near future. Build around Casspi. Guys like Omri Casspi are the future of basketball. Tall fellows who aren’t afraid to fight for whats theres. It takes balls to call out your coach in the media and the man has done it a COUPLE OF times. Cappsi doesnt just have balls he has big brass ones like wrecking balls no one tell Ron Jeremy. Maybe that Yeager guy is a good coach but i will never trust a man who is named after booze the fact that he is to stupid to play Casspi only proves I’m right. Omri is a man’s man and if we trade cousins I’m pretty sure he’s going to make the jump to a great NBA player maybe even possibly an ELITE one certain better than Gay or Collision who I think we should move too with Collie-stein and Temple who I don’t think I’ve even seen make a bucket.

    Gay is scoring a lot of dunk shots this year which means a lot of teams might could want him because he has many good high light plays this season. In my mind we can probably offload him to the Clippers who want another scorer with Paul and Griffen. I think Paul Pierce would be a good veteran leader for the team if we could get him. And then maybe see if the could toss in Raymond Felton to mentor Curry for another season of two.

    Collison is a good NBA player but a bad pointguard not to mention he beats young ladies. He probably doesnt ave any value in the league but I can see a team like the Pelicans needing another point guard for when Holliday gets hurt again. Lance Stevenson played good for coach last year in Memphis so I would see if we can get him on our team by sneaking them Collison.

    That makes our new starting line up as Bogut/Acy/Omri/Pierce/Curry a intriguing combo of speed shooting and defense that I think would match us up will with the Warriors and other teams of that nature. The bench would have lots of veterans wiles with Stevenson Barnes and afflalo and Felton with Lawson to puss the pace and bracket up the defensive intensity. I know the BOOGER LOVERS would hate this team but what has COUSINS GIVEN THIS TEAM OVER THE PAST TEN YEAR OF PLAYOFF MISSES AND LOTTERY BUSTS!!!! Team basketball wins in the modern NBA as the Cavaliers and Warriors have shown us and the ERA OF THE BIGMAN IS OVER!!!!!!!!!! You can all stop watching the Kings for all I care you don't deserve to share the success when OMRI AND PAUL THE LEGEND Piece lead Sacramento to its first NBA playioff since Bush was in the white house.

    Also lets stop complaining about the referees who have a very tough job. Im sure it’s hard too remember who give you the bribe money every night.


    Okayyyy. I would like to thank Uncle Donnie Ray for his opinions. Remember, of course, all opinions are valid so long as they exactly match your own.

    Before I sign off, let’s take a quick look at the slate of games over the next week.

    Coming up:
    Wednesday 7:30 PM: versus Oklahoma City
    The Thunder are an interesting team solely because watching Russell Westbrook wage a one-man war on the entire NBA has been one of the most enthralling League Pass watches this season. Seriously, the Thunder may not have one a single game this season were it not for Westbrook simply willing them to victory. If the Kings manage to make him for his production though, they actually have a good chance of victory. Good luck though.

    Friday 7:30 PM: versus Houston Rockets
    The Rockets are playing like a Mike D’Antoni fever dream to start the season. James Harden has decided to challenge Westbrook for the title of guy most likely grab a triple double on any given night and Morey has surrounded him with a collection of shooters and Clint Capela. And, yet, despite Harden going supernova, the Rockets also remain beatable, largely because their big men are Capela, Ryan Anderson, and ancient Nene. It’ll be tough though.

    Sunday 3:00 PM: at Brooklyn Nets

    And here’s where things get interesting. One of the good things about having a schedule from hell is that things eventually have to get easier. This game against Brooklyn starts one such “easy” stretch. That isn’t to say the Nets are a bad team. Under new coach Kenny Atkinson, they’ve been a surprisingly feisty team playing as if they have nothing to lose (and considering the fact the Celtics own their next pick, they don’t). If the Kings want to prove the are a competent team, though, this is the sort of team the Kings need to beat consistently.

    I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving, wherever you are.

    Warhawk, Suicide King, VF21 and 3 others like this.
  2. Fora Dragi

    Fora Dragi Guest

    Well it was an entertaining read...can't wait for Paul Pierce to join our new NBA Sacramento Capitals team
  3. Telemachus

    Telemachus Well-Known Member

    Thanks! I needed a good laugh.
  4. Mr. S£im Citrus

    Mr. S£im Citrus That's right, I said it! Staff Member Contributor

    Tet-Chan knows what the people want.

    VF21 likes this.
  5. Bricklayer

    Bricklayer Don't Make Me Use The Bat Staff Member Contributor

    Welcome to KF Donnie Rae! You'll fit right in!

    P.S. you spelled "intriguing" right

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